Since I seem to have stalled in the telling of my own story I figured maybe I'd try to break through the block by writing about someone else's. To that end I offer you a book review. Two for the price of one as it happens.
She’s Not There: A Life in Two Genders and I’m Looking Through You: Growing Up Haunted both by Jennifer Finney Boylan.
The first selection from a Bisexual, Transgender and Queer book discussion group I'm in (hereafter referred to as BTQ group) I was thrilled to finally read She's Not There as I'd seen and heard about it many times. I have to admit that when a book or author gets hyped, I get wary. I am happy to report that this memoir, and the follow-up I'm Looking Through You, are well worth the read.
In She's Not There Boylan tells the story of her life and gender transition with humor and honesty. From her first feelings of being in the wrong body as a young boy through her teens, adulthood, marriage and parenthood to the final acceptance of herself as a woman. James journey to Jennifer is funny, sad, sweet, poignant and thought provoking. I laughed, teared up and felt good. The acceptance and support of family and friends was very uplifting to read about. While the reality of rejection by some, Boylan's sister being the biggest one, reminds readers that there is risk inherent in the struggle to be yourself.
The follow-up I'm Looking Through You expands upon episodes and issues of her life that were brought up in her first book. She uses the memories and experiences of the haunted house she grew up in as a metaphor for her own feeling of being haunted skillfully. I have to agree that gender non-conformity does feel a bit like being haunted or possessed sometimes. It's also a fitting symbol for Boylan's feelings about the sister who rejected her because of her transition. The concept that they have become ghosts to one another really gives readers an impression how that kind of familial rejection might feel.
The only trouble I had with She's Not There was the feeling that this story may for some seem to reinforce gender as a binary male or female ideal. James is not right, is not healthy, until she becomes Jennifer. This is remedied in the follow-up when the author states that her only intent is to tell her story and it's not intended to explain or reflect all transsexual or transgender experience. What was and is right for Jennifer Finney Boylan may not be for someone else.
With I'm Looking Through You I was bothered by the authors dismissal of the hauntings she experienced in her home as a youth. Being pagan and a believer in ghosts, magic, fairies, dragons and all manner of beings makes it hard not to be a little offended by that. But being a rationally minded reader I understand that the author isn't intending to offend those who do believe in such things. She's just pointing out her own feelings on the matter.
So, I'd recommend both books as good, honest memoirs of transgender experience.
I read She's Not There about 5 or 6 years ago and it's one of the things that jump-started my interest in women's and gender studies. It was really the first exposure I had to the concept of being transgendered, and she explained her story in a way that made perfect sense. I had no idea she wrote a second memoir, and it's now on my to-read list.
ReplyDeleteP.S. I'm bookmarking your blog.
Thanks. She's a really good author and really explains the feelings, struggles and process of transsexual life well. The second book expands on it and brings in a great deal of things that were only touched on in the first. If you liked the first you'll like the second.
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